It’s not easy to work with a loner, let alone working with a non- team player. Hell, half of my amateur career I have been a non-team player and I assure you it was worse than working with Donald Trump or Kim Jong Un. People around me and beside me were always tempted to shun me up for not chipping in when I should have (You can find my diary on a loner right here). But would that have made a difference, that is shunning out a person without actually trying to look into the heart of a matter?

I’ll rather say in team work if you shun up a person then you are no better than a non-team player. Infact, you worst off than that loner. Why?

The moment you shun that person off, without reaching out to that person and making a connection you are affecting the morale of the team and are trying to dust off your responsibility. To reprimand that mistake, the sole art of the value is to start by approaching the said loner with friendly questions, rather than accusations, whether s/he is your friend, relative, colleague or partner. You might ask “what is going on with you right now? Is something troubling you? Is the team bully scaring you? If yes we can bum him/her together!”

Trust me, the roots of the loner’s behavior may surprise you. It might be that the person is dealing with a stressful situation at home, or at office or is simply pissed off of your face. Something that is leading to distraction. Or he/she might be feeling work pressures that you are unaware of and haven’t even thought of. Approach that person without making prior assumptions about why s/he have an ignorant attitude, because they aren’t being ignorant but a bit grumpy because of their situation.

Find out about them, interact with them one on one, for a group my fear them off. This way you will gain more insight than you ever had- a pathway to stored information. Consider taking your colleague out to coffee or lunch, a date if you want it to be. When the person sounds friendly enough, bring along a couple of colleagues to promote the team cohesion. The more interactions you have, the friendlier group relations will be.

But you extrovert human, what will you achieve from all this? Leadership, and a faithful follower!

-boringbug

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Posted by The Boring Bug

A paperback in the world of kindle, boringbug is a reluctant blogger, a sketch artist by hobby and a lawyer. The blog www.boringbug.com is a part reflection of his experiences, dialogues and opinions. If you appreciate his writing, you can reach him out on Instagram (@theboringbug) or Twitter (@boringbug).

4 Comments

  1. There are different kinds of loners. If the loner has a pleasant personality when spoken to and is smart an accommodation is usually made and that person will have a number of friends on the team who are also introverted. They can become like part of the furniture. An apt metaphor would be they are lIke an unusual but beautiful vase that you feel vaguely fond of and polish once in a while…. however.. If the loner has a difficult or unattractive personality they will be bullied! and ejected from that team by subtle but increasing pressure over time that can end rather brutally. They either hang on as a semi outcast who is at the bottom of the pecking order or they are basically like anything unwanted, chopped up and thrown in the waste basket to be forgotten. This is life. There is no rallying together and a laying of hands, heart to hearts!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Dear Someone,

      I cent percent agree with you. However, I am more intrigued with the selective name “Someone”.
      A difficult and unattractive personality can still survive in a team if his/her work walks the talk. However, a loner or not, inability to work or provide the desired results never lasts.

      Life is what we make it out to be.

      Like

  2. It sounds like a good advice in an ideal situation.. However, consider a real scenario, you alone are your team.. U can decide whether to act as a loner or as a team player or lead.. There are no free coffees..

    Your work place is just a work place..

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Haha, I understand where you are coming from. But that’s true for corporate practices, but unlike that when you are working in a team in a healthy environment’ you’ve got to bring everyone together.

      Ofcourse, there’s a limit to everything. Hereincase, a loner is primarily a person who isn’t connecting or is unable to connect with the team. :)

      Like

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