I have been intending to write this post for quite some time. To bring it to the notice of self-proclaimed intellectuals that being a loner does not necessitate a person as a friendless being who has zero following. In a general sense (weirdly), a loner is a person who happens to be alone and doesn’t associate with other people. This might be because of a lot of reasons, but there is a particular quote which piqued my interest and made me pour my thoughts here. The quote goes like this:
“If you happen to meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude, it’s because people continue to disappoint them!… Bla blah blah! –Jodi Picoult”
‘Wait, what.. !!’
The above quote is a specimen as to ‘why people negate so many sentiments before proceeding to something profoundly positive?’ Why do people even come up with such ridiculously traumatising quotes? That is a weird permutation & combination of a sentimental dialogue sprinkled with a ‘woeful interpretation’ of a simple word called ‘Loner’.
Only if people would stop being so emotionally judgmental.
It’s just like crying while chopping carrots because you don’t want onions to think that you are biased. (Pun)
I say that Loners are not socially rejected/ outcasts/ friendless or spineless- kind of people. They are persons who love spending quality time alone, self-introspecting and prefer enjoying their own company. They are typically the type of people who carve their own path. People who believe that they have found their niche in life.
For example: I do feel like a loner, but it’s not because I am alone, but because I look at things differently than other people. I don’t prefer following the way of a crowd but walk on my own. It includes walking on a road with my fellow friends or colleagues but still walking on a separate path. I act like a loner but I am still not a social reject.
Over decades the connotation of the term has become negative, but there were times when Loners were culturally considered as mysterious beings with a positive trait. But with despicable times the social connotations change and people do have a common tendency, they fear what they don’t understand. If it’s an act of nature they’ll label it as God, and if it’s a human then they’ll label him as a madman. But if it happens to be a person spending some time in solitude, away from other people then he’ll socially be called as a Loner. But is being a loner bad?
The answer is No!
Loner is a characteristic trait which does not denote loneliness or sympathetically lonely. It is a conscious decision of spending some time alone, away from people. For example I do feel lonely when sitting with a group of people, and thus I am a loner. But does it make me an outcast? Or does it mean that people disappoint me? No! A loner is a person who avoids or does not actively seek human interaction (full stop). It is a self-made conscious decision. A human characteristic, a human nature. It is the persons’ nature to not participate actively. There’s nothing wrong in that.
In the words of Albert Einstein: “The one who usually follows the crowd will usually go ‘no’ further than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one had ever been before.”
Loners, likely, walk on their own path. They have the characteristics of an introvert but are still social. One should not judge the ‘alone aspect’ of a loner from the ‘lonely aspect’ of the weirdly self-proclaimed intellects of the society. They prefer solitude, introspection, and love to spend quality time alone. They are Loners, but are definitely not Lonely!
P.S.: Loner is not a term to be lamented as a lonely-sympathetic figure. They are the self-introspecting types, and it is a part of their nature (Natura Naturata).
~Another Self Proclaimed Loner