My Story

A DIARY OF A LONER- Who is a loner and why?

tumblr_na65gxB1vl1smmqyyo1_1280I have been intending to write this post for quite some time. To bring it to the notice of self-proclaimed intellectuals that being a loner does not necessitate a person as a friendless being who has zero following. In a general sense (weirdly), a loner is a person who happens to be alone and doesn’t associate with other people. This might be because of a lot of reasons, but there is a particular quote which piqued my interest and made me pour my thoughts here. The quote goes like this:

“If you happen to meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude, it’s because people continue to disappoint them!… Bla blah blah! –Jodi Picoult”

‘huh!’

‘Wait, what.. !!’

The above quote is a specimen as to ‘why people negate so many sentiments before proceeding to something profoundly positive?’ Why do people even come up with such ridiculously traumatising quotes? That is a weird permutation & combination of a sentimental dialogue sprinkled with a ‘woeful interpretation’ of a simple word called ‘Loner’.
Only if people would stop being so emotionally judgmental. 

It’s just like crying while chopping carrots because you don’t want onions to think that you are biased. (Pun)

I say that Loners are not socially rejected/ outcasts/ friendless or spineless- kind of people. They are persons who love spending quality time alone, self-introspecting and prefer enjoying their own company. They are typically the type of people who carve their own path. People who believe that they have found their niche in life.

For example: I do feel like a loner, but it’s not because I am alone, but because I look at things differently than other people. I don’t prefer following the way of a crowd but walk on my own. It includes walking on a road with my fellow friends or colleagues but still walking on a separate path. I act like a loner but I am still not a social reject.

Over decades the connotation of the term has become negative, but there were times when Loners were culturally considered as mysterious beings with a positive trait. But with despicable times the social connotations change and people do have a common tendency, they fear what they don’t understand. If it’s an act of nature they’ll label it as God, and if it’s a human then they’ll label him as a madman. But if it happens to be a person spending some time in solitude, away from other people then he’ll socially be called as a Loner. But is being a loner bad?

The answer is No!

Loner is a characteristic trait which does not denote loneliness or sympathetically lonely. It is a conscious decision of spending some time alone, away from people. For example I do feel lonely when sitting with a group of people, and thus I am a loner. But does it make me an outcast? Or does it mean that people disappoint me? No! A loner is a person who avoids or does not actively seek human interaction (full stop). It is a self-made conscious decision. A human characteristic, a human nature. It is the persons’ nature to not participate actively. There’s nothing wrong in that.

In the words of Albert Einstein: “The one who usually follows the crowd will usually go ‘no’ further than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one had ever been before.”

Loners, likely, walk on their own path. They have the characteristics of an introvert but are still social. One should not judge the ‘alone aspect’ of a loner from the ‘lonely aspect’ of the weirdly self-proclaimed intellects of the society. They prefer solitude, introspection, and love to spend quality time alone. They are Loners, but are definitely not Lonely!

P.S.: Loner is not a term to be lamented as a lonely-sympathetic figure. They are the self-introspecting types, and it is a part of their nature (Natura Naturata).

~Another Self Proclaimed Loner

____________________________________________________
I guess I’m pretty much of a lone wolf. I don’t say I don’t like people at all but, to tell you the truth I only like it when I have a chance to look deep into their hearts and their minds. Otherwise I am a Loner.

30 thoughts on “A DIARY OF A LONER- Who is a loner and why?”

  1. Yup, I’m pretty much a loner. A lot of my reason for this is that I hate thinking that anyone (ANYONE) would in any way relate me to so, so many people whose thoughts & actions & habits I find so wrong & stupid. Don’t take me wrong, I KNOW that I’m not a perfect saint and that many of my own actions through life have been stupid – heavy drinking, procrastination, ANGER at certain others & “things” in life, etc., but the

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. I understand, and as one who isn’t too comfortable with people around barring few i have egraved my trust in, it is difficult to trust people. But that side, we have to try to build ourselves and learn to relate to people.

      We can never please others, but maybe be satisfied with ourselves. :)

      Like

  2. I completely agree with the resonating message behind this blog post. The careful and honest dissection of the concept of a ‘Loner’ is quite insightful and good education for anyone who thinks otherwise, not that their opinion will change the truth behind this post.
    A very unique, and delightful post.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much. I personally believe that people tend to misunderstand a loner and their mindset. Their mindset is one of the most complex thought process which cannot be fathom by all.

      I am glad that you read through it. :)

      Like

  3. Pingback: The bird that didn’t fly. – Boringbug

  12. I am outcast, rejected, hated, bullied, but i dont care. I dont want to be accepted by people. Of course i face problems because of it, i have been in psychiatric ward only for acting in self defense. All psychologists, blame the victm and create theories to justify the survival of the stronger etc using nietzsche/freud/jung arguments. I feel myself as an enemy of mankind. I am hated, bullied by people, but the cool thing is that i am the evil one, and the heroes are the bullies every society and women like. So, to be Evil and misanthropic is cool. I am always the bad one, the one everybody hate and talk shit, the one everybody want to destroy.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Nobody is evil. It’s just a connotation used to describe something beyond understanding. They don’t understand you, that terrifies them. Don’t let their taunts affect you.
      Do what you love the most without harming others. Nothing can beat self retrospection. You are not alone. :)

      Like

  14. I can so relate to this post of yours. I have always been mocked for being alone but honestly what you said is exactly how I feel. I prefer to be alone than be crowded with people that hardly see what I see.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. I get where you are coming from. Honestly, I prefer hand on interaction with people (one on one dialect), instead of a crowded room.
      Yet, in the age of social websites and smart technologies, every other person is a termed Loner.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. This is something every loner would love. I loved and enjoyed it thoroughly. How truly you’ve said what it is to be a loner. It’s a boon to be a loner for that matter

    Liked by 1 person

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