Everybody has self-concepts, a bundle of beliefs, facts and opinions about themselves that are created by both external and internal factors. External factors are the events and experiences that influence you from the outside. When you look at these, you will most certainly come face to face with some pain.

But your external factors are what they are- a history. You cannot change your history, but you can change your internal responses to these external factors. These internal factors determine how you perceive your place in the world and your entitlement to quality. For example, you failed in an exam, you broke up with your friend, hell- you got fired from your job. Your reaction might be”I hate failing, hate being dumped, hate getting fired but I am a talented person, good to the core of heart. I will use this experience to my advantage so that I don’t mess up the next time“. This is being realistic, yet not suffering a huge blow to your inner self. 

On the other hand, maybe your reaction is: “I am a loser, I blew it, it always happens with me. I’ve got what I deserved..” With this type of self-reflection, your inner self will definitely suffer. 

If your self-concept is based on this second type of thinking and you are talking into believing that you are some kind of a loser, you are messing up big time. If you ever want to rise above on the occasion, or as it is said “rise above your raising”, you need to get honest with yourself; be honest with your history. Before you can step out of the prison of your past, you need to identify and challenge your own internal rhetoric-the dialogues you have with yourself every day.

Whenever we look at the world and ourselves, we see it through a set of filters. Unfortunately, our perceptual filters can be highly sensitive to negatives. It is humane. As information flows through our filter, it takes the form of thoughts. Thoughts take the form of words. Words become dialogues, a real-time conversation that we have with ourselves. It is a voice no one hears but us, and that means no one can control it but us. 

Here’s a personal example. I remember a particular time in college when I was constantly being mocked for my accent, weird personality, ignorance, and introversion.  Mocked for not studying, not socializing, mocked for not being present, and mocked on the higher probability of failing. I was told this countless times that I won’t pass the exams. People were talking behind my back. There was negativity all around. Had I succumbed to their negativity, I would have proven them right. But I chose a different course. I told myself “I have a talent and I can use it. I can rise to the occasion and do what other’s cannot. I’ll study what I am interested in, not what others want me to do”. Exams came and went by. Unknown to many but few- I top scored some subjects but continued with my daily routine.  

You only have to be truthful to yourself. If your personal truth is riddled with doubts and anxieties, so too will be your internal dialogue: “you are not smart enough, you are not good enough, you are going to fail”. It gets loudest when you are deciding something big. Because internal dialogue is ever present, it can either wreak havoc or lay down the foundation of success. 

But everyone has doubts, so why not challenge that internal dialogue instead of letting it paralyze you. Ask yourself, is your inner self-letting you closer to what you really want to achieve? 

Remember “you are smart enough, you are good enough and you are not going to fail.”


Share this in 5 seconds. Your life will change.
Advertisements

Posted by The Boring Bug

An ongoing collection of blogs and updates to flex your reading muscles.

18 Comments

  1. As they say failure is the stepping stone to success. But it only depends on us as to how to react to that failure. As you say the second method of your post is not only wrong, but it is also very demotivating. it is only wise to look for our mistakes and try avoiding them in future. Another mistake that we do, I think is we keep tending to bring other’s faults in between, (in some case at least) and in doing so we don’t really do anything about it. Who so ever fault it is we need try and bring a change. For instance when you say that you were demotivated by your classmates in college you could have found fault in them, that they are not friendly enough or anything else, but you chose the wiser road and that made the difference.
    I am glad you take the wiser road, decide to be optimistic in life, and also are trying to motivate other with your words.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Words of wisdom indeed. Thank you for your appreciation.
      I generally opt for a more obscure form of motivation viz. negative motivation. So if anything that shelves to have an impact on me, I tend to partake it as a challenge to move ahead.

      The blog “Boringbug” happens to be one such product of my motivation.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I only have good words for this kind of writing. Very inspiring and honest. You were able to express your purpose by writing something like this, you are awesome. I enjoyed reading this. I am Ragazza. Hello! I hope you could follow my blog, maybe you’ll get inspired too. :)

    Like

    Reply

  3. I’m going to let my teenagers read this because it’s something so important. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you. I am glad that you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I am trying my luck too far, but would be glad- if you could share this article on social media as well. :)

      best regards,

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Will do, lol once I figure out how.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I find that saying it out loud sometimes is very helpful. It’s kind of like putting that sound, those syllables, out into the Universe. Letting them reverberate a little so they become solid enough to chew on and swallow and digested. Then you can just poop out all of the negativity and flush it down the toilet, where it belongs. :)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. True. I have got similar thoughts. Try out doing the same in front of a mirror, that too in a soothing environment.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh! I like that idea too!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. True. N that’s why I always follow my intution.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Haha, but instinct and intuition are too different. :)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. How would you like to guest post on my website? I couldn’t find a direct way to contact you so I thought to post here. I like your material and we could maybe share on each others website regularly if you would like?

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. It would be an honor to do that. As per your convenience. I can be reached at pakaobug@gmail.com.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s hard to acknowledge the internal conversations that i have with myself. Anyone having meditated, which requires a controlled “conversation” knows that thoughts creep into the mind’s limbo. Even so, I agree.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. I second it. It’s a bit difficult, but it can be channelled.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s