A Real Man


“I cannot understand why you praise that Freak so much?” said the Dumb. “Women don’t like men who are untidy, unkempt, slovenly and disorganized like him.”

“That only shows to go that he is a real man”, answered the Fool.

The Dumb, not being convinced at all requested the Geek to tell the Fool of the turmoil at “the Freak’s” house the day before.

The Geek under obligation proceeded to recreate the scene:

News had spread that the Freak had lost his favorite chocolate. They searched it everywhere, from his almirah, the bookshelf, to even the top of ceiling fan. At last! The maid was summoned and the Freak asked her about it. The maid had no clue about its whereabouts. One by one it was the turn of the dhobi (the washerman), the enraged sister, and even more enraged father. When the whole family had given up hope, his niece walked in and pointed out that the chocolate was hidden in a book nicely tucked behind the bookshelf.

He snapped at his niece and said “Silly kid, I am looking for the chocolate that I’ve lost. This is the one that I had hidden a year back”.

The commotion brought out the mother from the kitchen. Upon seeing her the Freak blurted in exasperation – “I can’t find the chocolate that I am looking for?”. She told him to make do with the one he had got or to buy a new one. The Freak thought that he might find the one in the nearest mall and decided to go and buy a new one, but the wallet was nowhere to be found. This time he searched his right pocket, his drawer, and his books, but couldn’t find the wallet. 

Again the maid and the washerman were summoned. They denied having seen or washing his jeans.

Once again the niece intervened and pointed out that the wallet was in his left back pocket. The wallet was empty as usual.

His mother informed him that he had already used the money to pay for groceries and chocolates.

“Is that so?” said the Freak “but hadn’t we ordered it on phone?”

“It was after you had paid an advance that the groceries and your chocolates were delivered” replied the mother.The Freak was scandalized and informed his mother that he had already ordered another set of groceries from the store.

Now his mother, all angry and enraged, pointed out to him that he’d have to pay twice for it now.

That didn’t bother him, “I cannot remember whether I saved the payment receipt in my notebook or not” he blurted.

When his mother suggested that he look it up in the notebook, he said that it had been missing for the past two days. The niece reminded him that he had given it to his sister who had gone back to Bombay due to work and time constraints. “Ah, the spying niece!” thought the Freak.

While the freak was thinking how to sort this mess out, who would turn up but the grocery store salesman. The salesman had come to deliver the groceries. When asked how much did it cost? The salesman replied “Rs. 2,000/- Sir!”

The Freak called out “Did you all hear that? What a relief, now I know how much I have paid!”

“Now now, what good will it do?” demanded his mother.

“At least I know the value of the goods.”

“So you have. But what will you do about the extra purchases?”

“Oh, I am sure you’ll think something about it later. Now I must check up on the receipt in the notebook”. The Freak looked for the notebook.

*

This “chocolate episode” was nothing compared to the uproar caused the day ‘the Freak’ lost one of his sketch pencils. His niece decided to boycott him. His mother decided to make him cook the dinner that day but out of sympathy for others opted out of the idea.

“Actually, I have heard about it too, he and his sketch pencil.” said the Fool.

When the Fool heard that the pencil was not lost but stolen, he was intrigued too and said “I wonder what kind of thieves are these who go around stealing half spent sketch pencils. It only proves that the price of the woods have skyrocketed.”

“That’s the point.” said the Freak. “I cent percent agree with you”.

The Dumb realized that there was not much point in arguing with the man, but couldn’t control the urge and blurted “How can someone be so silly?”

“Don’t say such things about him” retorted the Fool. “He is a genius in his own way”.

The Dumb turned up his nose to ask “What kind of a genius is that?”

The Fool replied “…That we have yet to find out. He might not be good at figuring out mundane things like how pencils are lost, but he can sort serious complications in a snap of his fingers.”

The Dumb lost his patience and said “Now I know why he’s always losing things and why you praise him so much. You like eccentric people and these are the people that flock to you”.

“Well let me take you in on a secret.” said the Fool. “You think people are fed up with a guy like that ‘Freak’ who is the epitome of hopelessness. It’s exactly the opposite. People are utterly taken with his careless, slovenly yet genuine ways. So am I!” 

by boringbug

2 thoughts on “A Real Man

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