The Boringbug

The internet is full of strange things, if not stranger. Plethora of knowledge ready to blow our minds away. Coincidentally, if not literally, our minds becoming graveyard, keeps getting bombarded every other day- over one thing or the other.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise when Sarahah- the anonymous messaging app took the social world by storm including India. People submerged in anonymity, for a brief period, lost their focus from the cow and the dung. Messages of love, revelations, desperateness, and spite and decade old crushes were bomb(ed) on Facebook.

A few trolls, sorry- friends, reveled in the new found attention. Mechanical engineers were delighted with the spam of fake crushes messaging them. Ladies were bombarded with lewd comments, while they graciously posted anonymous proposals simultaneously rejecting the real ones. Majority decided to post and answer these anonymous messages on the public platform, with many asking- “Aw, who was this?” Because logic is the sole property of the President of United States.

If they wanted to reveal themselves would they have used an anonymous app?

Sarahah was equivalent to a cold bucket challenge in private, a blue whale challenge gone wrong (pun intended), with instances of cyber bullying reported from various parts of the world.

However, as adamant I am, I remained oblivious to it all. A skill involved to not fall for such fads. Fads whose lifespan have reduced drastically, just like Arnab Goswami’s breaking news. It keeps on changing every other day. Alas, I am a man from the 1990’s, the fascinations we had back then were of pen fights, trump cards, UNO, carom and ludo. Such anonymous messages were only parted in the truth detective game. Picks which lasted for a decade or more. A slap from the father would signal the end of the facade. Slap > the fad.

When we had to endure such tricks for a decade, wonder what our parents had to endure? Marbles for 20 years? No doubt, my mother would turn into Rhonda Rousey whenever I asked her for money. (Ah, my neck still hurts!) Even Amitabh Bachchan has to carry his angry young man image at the age of 70 (the youngest old men in the history of bollywood).

Have I been immune to such fads? No. In fact, my entire life has been a fad in itself. A dark memory lane of fads.

I come from all boys’ school. The fads were so real there that we rarely reported cases of malaria. Even female mosquitoes were afraid of entering our school. Our hands were our fads.

From wearing tight skimpy t-shirts over a protruding belly, to below the waist- falling pants. Even the street dogs ignored my presence, and the cows denied to give me milk.

All these have made me immune to these trends. Even my profile pictures are 2 years old (ignoring the fact that I have lost my hair since then). I didn’t even fall for the Pokémon-Go craze, despite the fact that numerous Pikachu(s) constantly kept running under my bed. Even Jio Sims launched by the Ambani’s couldn’t lure me in their trap. What would I do with unlimited internet connectivity? 75% of the population wasted it on porn- too much of “dhan dhana dhan”.

All this slug fest is why I refuse to participate in such shallow trend called- Sarahah. I don’t need Sarahah or the anonymous opinions. If you need an honest opinion, contact one of your exes, you’ll get more than you bargained for. The honesty in that opinion can lead you to exile, only to be found upon the discovery of oil on your head (democracy).

So stop being bothered by the trivialities like Sarahah, be glad that you’ve got a kidney to spare, the new IPhone is around the corner. I can do away with yours for one.

• boringbug